if you think about it, i'm really kind of a pathetic person.

i mean, i guess it just depends on the viewpoint from which i'm being analyzed, but i'm not one for partying. i mean, i was with my uncle today and he's actually my favorite but he was the total party guy back in college (which is kind of funny to think of now--he's a total family person) but i don't know it just made me feel kind of dumb because he was saying how much fun i'll have drinking in college, and i know i honestly won't have THAT sort of fun; i'll just have my sort of fun being on tumblr and reading and writing novels. and that's all i want to do.

this is really a pathetic rant in itself but basically i dont' like when people don't respect that i'm a nerd.

lonely

i don't know if ranting will make me feel better or worse, but i'm sick of my friends.
i know i'm like "an old soul" and dont' really fit in with teenagers anyway, but still.
it just sucks not having anyone to hang out with. we can go to like movies and stuff, but we can't just chill at someone's house because there's nothing to talk about. conversations feel forced, and that isnt' how it should be with friends.

the problem with people

or problem(s)


their main problem is that they only see themselves. even if they see others, the picture of THEM is bigger. it's like they're the moon and others are stars. then, with some people, they see themselves as the sun. in that case, their light shines so bright that you can't see the stars. they're still there, of course.

problem b is that everything is black and white. people are nice or mean; ugly or pretty; interesting or boring. there's not a grey area for them.

and that's the thing about people themselves- no one is a bitch, or a whore, or an asshole, or a god, or cool.
we're like the earth; we have a crust, a mantle, and a core.
there is so much more to us than what we show. people like to be able to put other people into neat boxes, and you just can't do that. because we all contradict ourselves.





have i mentioned my love/hate relationship with people?

note to self; stop allowing the bad seeds to ruin people for you. especially since you love thinking about them so much and analyzing them.

"Just because I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid!" - Sweet Home Alabama

Although this quote would be technically "better" to some people if it was "speak slowly", I think it's perfectly adorable and eloquent as it is.
And you can't imagine how much I love it.
As a resident of the South, I have the sort of accent that always draws the question "Where are you from?"
Sometimes kindly, sometimes condescendingly.

But what really bugs me is when people tell me that I need to change the way I talk, because I sound uneducated.

An accent CANNOT make someone seem uneducated. Only a lack of education can do that. Maybe I'm proud of where I'm from and I don't want to change, asshole.

mostly accurate

i'm so odd that honestly, sometimes i just can't be around people.
i'm too different and i don't fit in and it's just a bother!
i'm perfect happy and content on my own, with my laptop and some books and my dog.
i only go out in public when i can't write any more. people irk me, but they inspire me.
i dislike them, yet they intrique me.

the thing about my """friends""" is that they aren't really friends at all. they don't know me and they don't understand me and they don't particularly care to, or they would. i'm not that hard to figure out. i'm an open book, actually. it's just that no one is interested in reading me.

Words cannot convey how excited I am for John Green's new book.

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars / But in ourselves."